Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Archive: Fallen Icons, Light Up
Pairing: Vampire twincest (aka Subaru +/x Kamui)
Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle or any of its characters. They are the property of CLAMP and I'm only playing in their sandbox. No profit is intended.
Summary: 'Subaru chews his lip, watching as Kamui shucks his shirt then reaches down to roll up his pants legs...'
Thank you to: amet for reading over this for me. ♥ (Am getting to yours, hon).
Author’s Notes: Another entry for the First Kiss meme, this time for alariel85 who asked me for something with Tsubasa Kamui and Subaru. I had thought to try and do something with their vampire selves and I will get to that eventually but I got this little pre-vampy piece and wrote it up. Hopefully it will suffice for now? ♥
A Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle ficlet
Subaru chews his lip, watching as Kamui shucks his shirt then reaches down to roll up his pants legs, shoes already abandoned as toes wriggle through the hole in his stockings. His twin is skinny, knobby shoulders and elbows, the skin drawn in tight muscles and chords across his bones, sharp hips hidden in stained brown pants that are a touch too big, big enough to grow into as their Mother would say. Clothes tend to be like that, gotten rarely and always just a little too big, just enough to grow into, hemmed and hemmed until they fall apart. By that time their mother usually has enough saved away or something she can barter to buy them another set of clothes. It's hard though with two growing boys, particularly when their hands and feet are one size one day and then the next larger, shoulders starting to fill out so that the shirt Subaru's wearing is a bit tight. He loosens his top knot, wary of the worn fabric, knowing what a stray tear or a good yank will do.
Kamui has no such compunction, yanking at his stockings and Subaru winces as he hears the fabric whine in protest, splitting a little higher in a way that doesn't matter now but will come winter when the frost sets in and they're wading through heavy snowfall. He can tell it’s the farthest thing from Kamui's mind, uncaring of how his clothes look, too excited by the prospect of an afternoon at the lake, away from their Mother and the eyes of the townspeople. He's whistling in tuneless joy, Subaru notes affectionately, reaching for the crude makeshift fishing pole and bucket of bait.
He's always been good with his hands, Kamui has and there's nothing he likes more than to take the knife in his belt and fashion something on his own. A lot of the things he's carved have come through trial and error though occasionally he'll venture close enough to the old ones in town to studying them as they while away hours, whittling and gossiping, as bad as any of the wives they complain about. His twin is too skittish, too wary, to venture close enough to ask about those things he desperately wants to learn, distrustful of the villagers. With good reason, Subaru is reluctant to admit; their mother is somewhat welcome in town, pitied and whispered about but her sons …
Twins are unlucky. An ill-omen and with each passing harvest since their birth just a little less than the one before, there's an ugly cloud starting to settle over everything.
Their mother tries her best to fight that, to bring them with her when she can and leave them at home even more often than that. Lessons are now taken at home, the school house no longer welcoming them, and while she tries, there's only so much their Mother can teach them. So she keeps them close and watches, preferring that they wander deeper in the woods than closer to human habitation and Subaru wonders that the possibility of bears can be less worrisome than people they have lived among for all of their lives.
It's not helped by the fact that the harvest festival is coming, preparation for the god's celebration in full swing and while much of the celebrating is done man to woman, in the old days the day was consecrated in the blood of the innocent.
Subaru's not supposed to know about that; he wishes he didn't know, that he'd never overheard that last conversation, watching eyes trail from him to Kamui as if – as if – sizing them up, trying to decide which would be a more acceptable offering.
Kamui used to go into the woods by himself and now Subaru can't bring himself to leave his side, afraid of each shadow that moves, of things that seem more than animal, wondering if his imagination is too wild or if someone might actually try something, disguising it as a hunting "accident."
He hates himself for even thinking like that.
Kamui is happy here, away from everyone else and the ache in Subaru's chest increases as he watches him bait his fishing pole, sun-browned skin glowing in the afternoon sun, a little smile playing at the corners of his lips. He's so rarely happy like this, so open and just free that Subaru can't help but draw closer, following him across the precarious length of the downed tree straddling the lake. It's a perfect vantage point to fish or so Kamui has told him and he feels a bit dizzy, shaky really, as he attempts to get across, happy to sit down next to his twin when Kamui finds the right spot, watching him throw back his pole then bring it forward again. Ripples bob around the tiny cork now floating across the water and it's easier to let his eyes rest there, knowing that the longer he darts tentative glances out of the corner of his eye that relaxed poise is going to shatter.
Kamui deserves a moment of peace; Subaru just wishes it weren't so damned hard to think of things to say.
No, that's not right. He can think of all the words he wants to say, the things he'd like to speak of and ask. How he'd like to lean closer to his twin's warm body and wrap an arm around it, head against Kamui's shoulder in a way that's not strictly … innocent. Or brotherly. He'd like to make Kamui understand that the strangeness between them, the awkward pauses and starts, have nothing to do with Kamui and yet everything to do with him, with all the changes Subaru is noticing and the way Kamui's eyes just seem to darken. Or the way he cocks his head, brow knotting when he's thinking really hard, longish hair falling into his eyes. He wants to talk to Kamui about the future, about their future because he can never bring himself to say yours or mine, a fluttery panic settling in his chest at the thought of separation.
He's never known life away from his twin, he wouldn't know how or where to begin and maybe that's wrong. Just as its wrong to watch Kamui out of corners, to feel his fingers twitch, and stare into the darkness of their shared bed, wanting to kill the space between them and just wrap himself around his brother, tangle their limbs and – and –
Subaru doesn't know what then, his mind always short-circuits, a hot rush of blood warming his cheeks.
He loves Kamui. That's to be expected. They're brothers, twins, and halves of a whole but Subaru is starting to wonder if he doesn't maybe…Well, love Kamui. Really love. The way their mother might have loved their father or the way he sees the betrothed girls in the village make eyes at their perspective grooms. It's a sin, one of the worst ones, but he can't stop thinking about how much it hurts, how he can't seem to concentrate when Kamui's not around, not on anything but wanting Kamui back, or what he'll do if Kamui does go off and leave him one day.
Subaru's been thinking about it for awhile now, so long that it surprises even him when he suddenly comes to a decision, craning his head around, Kamui giving him a quizzical look, turning to look at him as Subaru's mouth finds his. It's an awkward kiss, rushed and clumsy, Kamui's mouth drawing in a startled breath, Subaru trying to find the right way to make their noses fit and not bash. Kamui tastes of the soup their mother made for lunch, of bread and water, of summer days and faintly of something slick, Subaru's tongue brushing against his lower lip tentatively. He doesn't know what to do when his twin doesn't respond, that hot rush of blood causing him to turn his face away, curling in on himself, miserable as he's certain this is it. This is their divide, their ending, and he'll be Subaru now. A Subaru without Kamui, one who doesn't know what his place is or what he'll do if –
There's a splash, hands digging into his shoulders and turning him back again, Subaru having only a second to register that Kamui's dropped his pole in the water, his twin's kiss fierce, needy and there's joy there, too. Joy and possessiveness and it makes Subaru laugh, his hand reaching up to smooth over Kamui's hair, down his cheeks and holding on. Kamui isn't showing any signs of letting up and Subaru is fine with that except when –
He overbalances, Subaru giving a surprised whoop, grabbing onto Kamui's wrist just before they tumble over the side of the tree, splashing into the water below.